Parting Words from Tony Almeida

To All:

Thank you all for your support for my release from prison. You have no idea what your support has meant to me. Unfortunately, all your support was in vain. Apparently, I don't want FREE. Jail is beginning to sound good. It'll be like a vacation.

Let’s look at the pros. First, I hear that prison is a good place to make a lot of friends, and that the inmates are really nice, especially to people who’ve just been locked up. Secondly, I hear the food is terrific. I wonder if they have ham sandwiches. Thirdly, they have televisions, right? Well, you know, that means when I’m not doing random tasks I can sit down and watch Star Wars with all my new friends in prison!

Plus, let’s face it. Nobody died while I was committing treason. That’s pretty good. I might not be seeing Michelle for a long time, but, hey, she might improve with age! Of course, they could kill me. But I hope not. Cause dying would suck. Really. So, no dying, ‘kay?

Goodbye Cruel World,
Tony Almeida.

P.S. Michelle, will you feed my pet goldfish while I'm gone?